just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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