Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You did what with his pubic hair?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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