Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
