I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think I am morally bankrupt
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
