How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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