the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
