I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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