what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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