It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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