I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
