This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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