hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?