So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
