he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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