i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm bleeding and have questions
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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