jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
