He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
