Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
