Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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