My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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