the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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