quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
