are you so shy because you have an std?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
