If i come over, it means nothing
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
should my penis look like a turkey
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
