don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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