I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
