my being single is dangerous.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
