question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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