we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
