I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
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You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
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Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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