Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
