Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize