It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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