just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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