In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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