fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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