you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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