it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
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a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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