Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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