We're like a lot better than the average bears
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
