Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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