I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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