and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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