i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
