help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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