He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
