Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
