I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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