he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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