I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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