i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
