Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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