he puts the penis in happiness.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
