ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
