Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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