I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
