I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I want to fling myself into the sun
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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