wat bout pragnant strippers??
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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