She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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