I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize