Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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