if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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