theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
