well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
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I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
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You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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