Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
