Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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