Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
dude. I can hear the air.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
