nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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