I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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