remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
