gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
